Letters & Love

I have to include this brief part of an email that I sent to my Cousin. He's serving in Iraq at the moment, and I would be ignoring a large part of why I feel so pulled to do what I'm doing here if I left some of these things out. The truth is, he is one of the brave men that truly wants to help the Iraqi people, that wants to reach out and serve the human side of the war - to ensure stability so Iraqis can begin to share in some semblance of a normal life. It's difficult at times though, because I know he does not believe in the original reasons for the war, or even the continuing presence of it - he's there because he has to be, and he is taking his situation to try and serve our Iraqi brothers and sisters as best as possible. My heart goes out to him each and every day:

"I hope my email finds you well and safe, adjusting to the daily life that is your new reality. It's difficult for me to imagine what you must be seeing and feeling on a daily basis, and how parts of you just take over and do it, and then others find themselves screaming that the hell is this! I feel a big weight in my heart sometimes for you, not because I don't believe in who you are and what you're doing, but because of the unfair contexts and situations that have been thrust upon you. Honestly, I wish you were right here with me, fighting for a society, working to show them a new and different way of doing things - and only hoping they have the courage to see the value in it for themselves. I miss you my Friend and Brother."

Out and On

I have come to this strange feeling of paralysis since graduation. In the short few days since receiving my diploma holder, I just haven't really known what to do with myself. I have become so used to constantly moving and doing that even these brief periods at home feel somehow strange and unsettling, as I suddenly have time to think and reflect again.

It is becoming real that I will be leaving in a short two months. Seeing friends and family again brings to mind that for some already, this will be the last time that I will see them for quite a long time again. While I have said goodbye before, something that I'm realizing is that separation produces the same sharp realizations each time one occurs.

I am leaving tomorrow for my uncle's place on White Potato Lake. I'll be seeing my cousin Matt for the last time before he deploys for Iraq. I almost bring myself to say that I have feelings of sadness and regret at this moment - then I look back on the times that we have shared, and will share for many years to come, with only happiness and joy.

There is a lot of moving on to be done soon. Most of it just moving elsewhere. Being reminded of the past solidifies the present, yet too much reflection distracts from the change of the future.